


Unyielding

by Sora22302



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Character Study, F/M, M/M, Not Beta Read, One Shot, p5 royal, p5royalspoilers, slight poly-thieves if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:21:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24415813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sora22302/pseuds/Sora22302
Summary: As Joker, a leader, with his friends at his side, he'd stared down many villains, including a god. But when faced with his own wish....The persona 5 protagonist reflects on his friends and their strengths while trying to find his own. Takes place on the night the Final calling card is sent in Royal.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist, Persona 5 Protagonist/Phantom Thieves of Hearts
Comments: 3
Kudos: 39





	Unyielding

He wanted to take the deal.

It wasn’t even that the others were happy, though admittedly, that played some part.

It was that he couldn’t stand to lose what he’d been given.

Did that make him a worse person than his friends? His friends, who broke free from illusions with only the slightest push. His friends, who had experienced so much worse than he had. His friends, who even now were waiting to join him in battle once more.

They all depended on him, as their leader, but they were so strong even without him.

Haru, who had dreams and aspirations so much larger than he could ever imagine. She was a newer member, debatably the _newest_ , but she didn’t allow her inexperience to hinder herself, much less the team. She was a beautiful and ferocious fighter, in the metaverse and in life. He’d joined her in all of her business ventures that he could since she first asked for his assistance, and she’d really come so, so far... And even though he couldn’t return the feelings she held for him, he did love her in the way that he loved all of his thieves.

In this reality, her deepest regrets would come undone, her business-her _father’s_ business, would flourish. She would be the right hand of the company, with a loving and capable parental figure beside her. But even still he’d approached her, and sparked in her the memories of truth. 

She deserved to live in a world where the hard work she’d done to come so far existed, deserved the world they’d fought for. But didn’t she also deserve the love of her father, who could have _changed_ , if only things had turned out the way they were supposed to?

And there was Ryuji, the first person in a new place to look at him without judgement, who had shared in his first adventure. He was a frontline fighter, willing to throw himself into danger, if it meant saving someone else from danger. His first true friend, not just after gaining his record, but his first true friend _ever_. And over the course of a single year, he, too, had grown so much, and in turn given his leader more strength than he thought possible. Both from their constant training, and the friendship that had started to open his heart.

And for Ryuji, this reality wasn’t so much _fake_ as it was built upon his dreams for the future. Maybe, in the true reality, he would one day run track just the way he could before. But in this reality, his dreams weren’t a _possibility_ , they were guaranteed. And besides never losing his friends on the track team, he was also going to get that scholarship to help his mother out. And despite how happy he was in this reality, his memories had returned too.

It was impossible not to wish the best for one of his closest friends, but to allow him to forget the time they’d spent training together, and their rare but meaningful heart to hearts...just wasn’t something he felt like he could accept.

Yusuke, like the others, had changed so drastically since they’d first met. He was still the eccentric art student they knew and loved, but he was no longer stuck in an artistic rut. He’d questioned himself, again, and again, and come out on top. He’d created a piece that sat in a place of honor along the attic wall, under the star dotted ceiling of their leader. It was better, even, than the Sayuri. Maybe not to the art world, but to the founding member of the phantom thieves, the emotional weight was so much more.

But deep down, Yusuke still wished that the world would acknowledge the true art his mother had created, and the altered reality presented it without consequence, because in this world it had never been changed, and his Sensei was just as kind as he’d always made himself believe. And it would be a lie to say it didn’t hurt to make him remember the truth, but he did anyway.

Yusuke deserved all the recognition in the world and more, but his wish hadn’t been for his art to be displayed in the various galleries where Madarame’s “Work” once stood, but instead for the work of his mother to have the spotlight. His mother, who would never get such recognition in their reality. And yet, the painting as it was made Yusuke into the artist they all loved. And if reality had unfolded in such a way, what would happen to the internal struggles he’d gone through, _they’d_ gone through, only a short time ago.

And there was Makoto, somehow simultaneously intelligent and oblivious to the world. One day she would find herself following in her father’s footsteps, taking her experiences and allowing them to shape the amazing person she was slowly becoming. She’d started out so self conscious, so desperate to make herself useful. But she’d taken the first step forward, she’d torn off her mask, and she’d plowed forward with stubborn determination, leaving broken ground in her wake. She’d somehow slipped naturally into the role of both strategist and mother hen, keeping the team alive in the metaverse and out.

He’d heard about Makoto’s father, she’d spoken of his character so highly and with so much love in her voice. So to be given a world with him back in her life, with her and her sister never having to go through the pain that they had...where was the harm in that? She wouldn’t have the experiences they’d gone through together, but some of her worst insecurities may never have come to be at all. And maybe she’d still turn out on the same path. 

But maybe she wouldn’t be the same, and maybe the times they’d shared meant too much, because when she first started to remember, it was all too easy to recognize the flash of disappointment in her eyes. The knowledge that something wasn’t _right_ and that that something was something she didn’t want to lose.

And there was Ann, fiery, lively Ann. Ann who couldn’t resist the call of a dessert, but could and _would_ help someone, even when they didn’t realize they needed help. Ann, who had gone through such a traumatic experience that she was permanently alerted to the struggles of others. Ann, who had been through so much before reaching the tipping point and finally finding the will to fight. To fight for herself, to fight for others in need, to fight for _Shiho_. To grow stronger for the person that she wasn’t able to save. For the friend that would never be the same.

To see them both together, shopping and having fun, was almost enough to halt him and force himself not to interrupt, but he’d had to approach Ann, to ask her if this was what she wanted, even though how could it not be? She’d wished to have her friend at her side, and even disregarding the amount of growth that Ann herself went through because of Shiho’s situation, how could he consider dooming Shiho to what he knew happened to her? He’d spent so much time with Ann, watching her and helping her and listening to the struggles of the friend who had a long road to recovery. But even still he spoke with her, and he knew she was starting to remember when the look of happiness briefly twisted into what could only be described as remorse.

He’d gone home that day more uncertain than ever before.

His constant source of advice came in the form of a little black cat, the embodiment of human hope, and who had given him that on more than one occasion. The mentor he hadn’t known he needed, and the unwilling patron to all of the various antics the thieves put him through. The cat who wasn’t a cat, who was so worried about his past, and so afraid of losing his space in their hearts that sometimes he lashed out at them. He was the heart and soul of the team, even if he didn’t see it himself.

But that cat had become human, and it was Morgana but it also _wasn’t_ Morgana. He didn’t know what he thought a human Morgana would look like, but it was so incredibly disorienting to see someone else’s face where he once saw his companion. And while it wasn’t like his personality had changed, he couldn’t find it in himself to ask the now human how to handle the situation he was in. Maybe it was that he didn’t want to take the hope of _his_ hope away, but it took him too long to remind Morgana of what he used to be.

Morgana was also the only one he’d seen pondering the changes from the moment he’d mentioned them to each day that had passed, and it hadn’t made it easier to think the rest of his friends were also experiencing the internal crisis.

And then there was his sister.

Futaba was the closest thing he had to family, even closer than his parents, and possibly slightly closer than the rest of his chosen family. She’d been so shut off to everyone, and was barely taking any care toward her health. She’d been hurting and scared for so long, but she was so courageous and reached out for help even when she thought there was no help to be found. They’d gone to change her heart, but she had changed her own heart, from the inside. She had faced herself in a more physical sense than anyone should ever have to. She’d overcome her own distortions with little help from the rest of them, and she’d helped them in and out of situations in ways that no one else could. It was Futaba that had shown more strength than anyone. Futaba who slowly but surely made her way into the world, and could do more now than anyone ever believed she would. She was so determined to get through the battles in her own head, to be able to be okay and while she still had plenty of battles to fight, she had come so _so_ far.

And with that strength in mind, it was hard to watch her excitedly shop with Sojiro and her _mother_ , her mother who she loved more than anything. The mother she wanted so badly to make proud, even beyond the grave. And seeing the three of them together and _actually_ carefree had sent a sharp pain to his chest, causing it to tighten in a way it had only once or twice before. And jogging her memory was the worst of all. To see the way she shut herself away at the memory, the denial, the _pain_. 

And it was enough to really make him question if taking everything away from her, again, was something she was capable of handling.

But what made him more reluctant to return to reality than anything else was Goro Akechi.

Their final member, their traitor, his rival, his friend. Goro Akechi had told him, not so long ago, that he hated him. But he could never hate their false comrade. Even before he came to a palace with them, he’d been inexplicably drawn to the detective. He was both his equal and his opposite, a man with sharp wit and an even sharper tongue. Even with his exceedingly polite exterior, he found bits and pieces of the person inside the shell.

He knew from early on that he was dealing with a mask, that his new confidante was more dangerous to him than just about any metaverse task he had to accomplish, and yet, even still, he couldn’t help getting close to him. Perhaps, at first, it was about learning the details behind an enemy to come, but he wasn’t sure when the line blurred and he became too close to pull back.

But it had happened somewhere along the way, because even though he already _knew_ Akechi was out for the phantom thieves, it still hurt more than it ever should have when _I hate you_ came out of his mouth.

And that feeling didn’t go away when the plan to kill him was revealed. And didn’t go away when they faced off again.

And it didn’t change when he spent so many nights after staring at his ceiling.

So the news that Maruki brought his biggest regret back to life for him, wasn’t really surprising. What did surprise him was the amount of _anger_ he felt, however briefly, for the circumstances that put them here. For the pain they’d gone through, for the knowledge it was going to get worse if they fought against this reality. Anger at Maruki for putting this choice into perspective, and showing him that he had just as much to lose from this arrangement as the rest of his friends did.

And when Maruki left the cafe, and he was left with a shaken will, Goro Akechi stared him down with just as much determination as every moment before. But for once, he didn’t return the sentiment. He couldn’t. He barely processed his final member asking to speak with him alone, and the chime of the bell as Morgana left the building.

He didn’t speak, he didn’t think he had words to convey the mix of emotions fluttering by, one after another. He normally knew exactly what to do, what was _right_ , but this time, somehow, his justice and what he wanted had reached a collision that he didn’t want to witness. He was able to stand strong against his rival before because he knew what they were doing was right, but also because he’d held out hope, all along, that Akechi could be brought to their side for real. And during the time he thought he was dead, what kept him going was...so much more than just justice.

But to willingly lead someone he deeply cared about to his own death was something he just couldn’t do. “I will carve my own path,” As if he’d seen straight through him, the soon-to-be victim spoke up. “I refuse to accept a reality concocted by someone else, stuck under their control for the rest of my days.”

The black haired thief stood, already shaking his head. “But then, you’ll…”

“So. What? That is the path I chose. All you have to do is stick to your guns and challenge Maruki. Or, are you really so spineless that you’d fold over some bullshit, trivial threat on my life?”

“Don’t oversimplify this!”

Goro narrowed his eyes. “Oh, but it is simple. Do you think I’d be happy with this? Being shown mercy now, of all times? I don’t want to be pitied-this isn’t something I’m debating with you!”

The normally proud leader of the phantom thieves almost wanted to scream. Of course he knew he didn’t want pity. But how could he be so sure about throwing his own life away? And yet, he knew how. He’d said himself he’d carve his own path, the way he always had. And he knew how he felt because he was the same. He’d known pain and regret, but he’d never stopped himself from taking the correct path because of the potential consequences.

Goro had moved his gaze away. He looked as frustrated as his leader felt. “You’re indecisiveness on the matter is essentially a betrayal of my wishes.” He turned back to face him and took a step forward. “I want to hear you say it. Out loud. What do you intend to do?”

His mouth was dry. The truth was that if he had been alone, he’d be making a different decision than the one he was about to. It was his life, and if he, who stood to lose the most for returning the world to the way it was supposed to, thought that it was still worth it...What gave him the right to go against those wishes?

He could be happy here. They all could. But it...wasn’t real. And erasing everything they’d all been through together didn’t feel right. And again he realized how much stronger his friends were, to fight with him after living the lives their wishes had gifted them. Because he had remembered everything from the start, and rejecting this wish was incredibly hard. He closed his eyes and heard the other boy shuffle in front of him, speaking again. “I won’t wait any longer. Answer me.”

And as if that was a trigger, he found at last the strength to steel his resolve. He opened his eyes, and his stance was all Joker. Because he couldn’t afford to be weak now. “We’re stopping Maruki.”

Goro shifted into a stance that was surprisingly relieved. “All right. I’m relieved to hear it.” And to hammer it home, he continued, “I will never accept this form of reality. I’m done being manipulated. Let’s go back...to our true reality.” He turned toward the door. “What’s a life worth in a reality that was cooked up just to satisfy someone else? I say none. We have to win this-no matter what.”

He stepped toward the exit, and the wild card let him go. He wanted to reach out and stop him, but he knew if he got any closer, he wouldn’t be able to let him go at all. He’d told him before that he wished they’d met sooner. 

Part of him wished that too.

**Author's Note:**

> I know that the only dialogue was taken directly from the game...however, I think it was an amazing scene, and that if I was going to go over this section of the game it was important to include it.
> 
> Hopefully everyone enjoyed the insight on the feelings of the protagonist, even if you don't picture him the same way. 
> 
> And maybe let me know if you want to see anything else like it?


End file.
